My husband and I celebrated our 13 year wedding anniversary this past June. We married June 6, 1998. Over all we have had a great marriage. I am really blessed, but even though I am married to a great man NO marriage is without it's problems. I think marriage and the whole nature of what it is means that there will be some difficulties. Think about it you are taking two separate individuals who decide to come together and create a unified life, The two become one.
One of the challenges that plagues my husband and I is the fact that we are COMPLETE opposites personality wise. He is a mans man and I am a girly woman. He loves theme parks, bowling, trying different restaurants, and I love theater, plays, museums, romance flicks. I am very affectionate, he is NOT. He loves routine, I like to shake things up. So how do two TOTAL complete opposites make it work. Well for one we are unified in the things that matter most. Things like our Faith and beliefs about God, how we want to raise our children, and career goals. Those are the things that really matter where if we differed we would have some major issues. Secondly, we realized that we two individuals have to come together and make ONE NEW MAN. We don't fully know what that NEW Man will look like but we are having a blast creating him. He is a combination of both my husband and I. I am committed to remain open to getting to know his world and try new things and he does the same for me. Doing that has made a huge difference in our relationship. Prior to doing this how we interacted with each other was greatly affected by our differences. Once we realized that was a problem we both through communication and understanding realized we had to create a relationship where BOTH parties personalities are reflected and thrive. Now I can happily say that he is open to do things I like and I am open to do things he likes. We also both have committed to try NEW things that neither of us would normally do.
![]()
Keep in mind no marriage is perfect because it has two imperfect people involved, but you have to learn to focus on your partner's strengths. Actually take the time to ENJOY the things about him that you love. FOCUS on those. Many people miss out on enjoying their spouse because they spend so much time focused on what they don't like. He may not be affectionate, but maybe he loves to shower you with great gifts. He may not be as in to the word as you would want, but he is a great father. You may not be able to be a real housewife of Atlanta :-), but he loves to cook and will clean the house. Focus on the positives about your husband and you will see You two can live Mostly Happily Ever After. :-)
One of the challenges that plagues my husband and I is the fact that we are COMPLETE opposites personality wise. He is a mans man and I am a girly woman. He loves theme parks, bowling, trying different restaurants, and I love theater, plays, museums, romance flicks. I am very affectionate, he is NOT. He loves routine, I like to shake things up. So how do two TOTAL complete opposites make it work. Well for one we are unified in the things that matter most. Things like our Faith and beliefs about God, how we want to raise our children, and career goals. Those are the things that really matter where if we differed we would have some major issues. Secondly, we realized that we two individuals have to come together and make ONE NEW MAN. We don't fully know what that NEW Man will look like but we are having a blast creating him. He is a combination of both my husband and I. I am committed to remain open to getting to know his world and try new things and he does the same for me. Doing that has made a huge difference in our relationship. Prior to doing this how we interacted with each other was greatly affected by our differences. Once we realized that was a problem we both through communication and understanding realized we had to create a relationship where BOTH parties personalities are reflected and thrive. Now I can happily say that he is open to do things I like and I am open to do things he likes. We also both have committed to try NEW things that neither of us would normally do.
(John and I at Maggiano's on our Anniversary)
Keep in mind no marriage is perfect because it has two imperfect people involved, but you have to learn to focus on your partner's strengths. Actually take the time to ENJOY the things about him that you love. FOCUS on those. Many people miss out on enjoying their spouse because they spend so much time focused on what they don't like. He may not be affectionate, but maybe he loves to shower you with great gifts. He may not be as in to the word as you would want, but he is a great father. You may not be able to be a real housewife of Atlanta :-), but he loves to cook and will clean the house. Focus on the positives about your husband and you will see You two can live Mostly Happily Ever After. :-)
Great topic and at the right time. I find myself struggling now in my marriage with focusing on the things I dislike and not on the things that made me fall in love with my husband. My husband and I have been married for 7 years, but have been together for 15 years. We are pretty much the old married couple already :). Marriage is alot of HARDWORK and if both parties are not willing to work at it then the marriage will fail. So, after reading you blog, from this point on I am going to make an effort to focus on the things I love about my husband and avoid the things that really BUG me. :) And try to work on reviving what made be fall in love with my man.
ReplyDeleteThanks for you words of wisdom Eboni!
Melody Montes
Hey Mel :-)....You are so very welcome. glad you enjoyed it.
ReplyDelete