So today I went with a friend of mine to see the movie" Eat, Pray, Love". It was a pretty good movie. I will say definitely a chick flick and to some, as my husband would say it may be "eyeball fall out boring". He says the movies I watch are shoot yourself boring. Well, I was intrigued by the concept of this movie when I saw the previews. The idea of being able to take a year off from life, travel and enjoy life, drew me in. Especially because of where I was in my life when I first saw the preview a few months back.
Some of you may not know but I am married to a Pastor. He is 33 and I am 31 and we do NOT live the life of a 30 year old. We have soooooo much responsibility on our shoulders, responsibility and pressure. Actually doing this job makes me respect exactly what Jesus accomplished. He was our age and had literally the weight of the world on his shoulders. Anyway, back to the movie. When I saw the preview I wanted to see it because at the time I wasn't enjoying life. I was bored, bored with the mundane of life. I was caught up in the day to day process of living and paying bills. (Let me put this disclaimer in here for my husband, TECHNICALLY I don't pay the bills he does, BUT......you get what I mean) LOL. Even as Pastors we can get so busy with the day to day of being a pastor, the business and behind the scenes of it all, that we get off focus of what's important. Thankfully God ministered to me and I am not in that place anymore.
So Liz (the character in the movie), realizes that she is unhappy and sets off to find herself. I actually think that is true of soooo many women. We either loose ourselves in our husbands, or life, raising a family, our jobs, you name it. Now I don't advocate taking a year off from life because we have people depending on us, BUT I am all for finding our true selves. Getting to know us.
I had gotten out of touch with me, kind of lost myself in John, my family, and my role as a wife and mother. Don't get me wrong my husband and children are the most important people to me, but I realized that I don't have to loose ME, Eboni in fulfilling those roles. So I started on purpose taking time to do things that I enjoy. Listening to music, singing at the top of my breath......(when no one is around of course), going out with friends. Friendships are so important and for awhile I had stopped investing in personal relationships. I realize now that I need girlfriends, people I can talk to, laugh and vent with. God places people in our lives as a blessing so I started to take time out to nurture these relationships. I reached out to friends from the past thanks to Face Book lol, and even made a new friend.
The point I am making is when I lost me, I stopped enjoying life. Everything isn't perfect in my life not by far, BUT there are a lot of GOOD things, blessings that I have, and when I began to on purpose take time to enjoy these blessings, even enjoy me, guess what........ I actually began to ENJOY LIFE!!!!
I think losing yourself is something that many women experience. We are by nature such nurturing and fix everyone’s problem people that we put everyone and everything before ourselves and before we even know it has happened we have lost ourselves in others. Then one day your kids grow up, and no one is there anymore and you realize you don’t even know who you are because for years you have been someone else’s shoulder, rock or whatever and you realize how unfilled you really are. I am glad that you have realized this early because if a woman/person continues to constantly take care of everyone else and not themselves, they run the risk of burning out. It may sound selfish, but it really isn’t - the MOST important thing we can do for our families IS to take time for ourselves. I also thought the concept of the movie is a good one. I probably won’t go see it at the theater, but purchase when it comes on DVD.
ReplyDeleteI love this blog Pastor Eboni and thanks for sharing what most women are or have experienced at some point in our lives. I myself had got so caught up in my job, ministry and now the mundane life of just paying bills and what seems like just living day to day. I was feeling like I had lost focus of my dreams and goals, and had even lost touch with friends and loved ones that are important to me. As a single woman, I feel like I should be living my life and experiencing all that the Lord has for me. However, some where down the road I feel like I lost my passion for the things that used to make me happy and gave me so much joy. I've been listening to the Rediscovering Passion series, and realized just how much I've allowed the cares of this world to distract me from fulfilling my purpose. I'm so ready to begin embracing those things again that I've put off for far to long, and reaching towards my destiny...Thanks again for sharing
ReplyDeleteWell said...I can definitely agree with you about losing yourself. I think as women we are naturally made to nurture and love, and so when we get married we make the mistake of pouring All of ourselves into our spouse and kids, that we forget that we have to still have "Me Time" as I call it. Then we become unhappy with this person that we have allowed ourselves to become. (In my case it spilled over into my marriage)and I began to dislike the idea of what marriage is because of the lack of enjoyment in my life. So now I have also made a concious effort to "Do Me", and not to say go overboard with it, but I do spend time outside of my house with new and old friends. Now I feel so much more liberated and happy. I am in a pleasant place with me now, not to say that my life is all gravy, but I am more confident in who I have allowed myself to become!!!!
ReplyDeleteI posted a link to your blog on my site in Dorcas Women's Group with the article. I thought the ladies there would enjoy it and this is a reply Chelley one of the members:
ReplyDeleteThe movie called Eat,Pray and Love.You know what I can really relate to it,about doing things in your life and about who you are as a person because I am really just now starting to enjoy my life? I feel like I have missed out on a little bit of doing what I want to do now for myself.I have raised two beautiful young adult children.But I feel like I have taken on so much of my life around my family.But I know this much God's spirit is speaking to me now about it's your time to shine my sister.Also,I eat of the holy spirit,I make sure I have time to pray every day and to keep love inside of my heart.