What Is Really Going On In Our Marriage?

Hello everyone. I hope that as you are reading this you are having a good day or good evening. My prayer is that you are experiencing peace. The subject on my heart right now is marriage. Probably because my husband and I are Pastors and we deal with this issue a lot in our day to day life. We counsel and offer support and a listening ear to so many couples.  I always find myself really hoping that the couples work out their differences and reach a place of happiness in their lives together.

John and I have been married for 12 years and trust me it has not been and isn't always a bed of roses. Overall though, we have a really good marriage. Trust me in marriage you are going to make some mistakes. That's why I think the most important trait you can adapt in a marriage is a forgiving heart. Especially as women. We have to learn how to forgive and be peace makers.

I am definitely the peace maker in my house. I am married to a man's man. He is very stubborn and set in his ways. I am so thankful for his relationship with Christ because prior to him giving his heart to Jesus he was 10 x's worse. I mean we were married a whole year and he never apologized and when I say never  I mean NEVER. We would argue and he would just go on and I would always be the one going to him saying I am sorry in an effort to make peace. He would accept my apology and we would move on. In my mind though I would be thinking " now this joker owes me an apology too, I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING", but he never would. I will say he has changed and he apologizes more quickly now, but that has been a process. Even through that I don't remember ever having a guard up or a thick shell with him. I have always been the softer one. I notice a lot of the women today are so hard. They are hard in the relationship and have this independent mindset. They have this independent,  excuse my language, "n*gga I don't need you attitude", which they carry that into their marriages. I have always been one to believe that it is okay to be the softer or what today's woman might call the "weaker" person in the relationship. In my experience the marriages that last the longest and have the most peace are the ones where the women allow their husbands to be the MAN.

The bible says blessed are the peace makers for they shall be called children of God. As women I think it is an honor to be a peace maker, soft with your mate. A man doesn't want to feel like he is married to another man, someone who will cuss him like a dude, fight him like a dude, be as tough as a dude. We can diffuse a situation by humbling ourselves and being soft. Especially when we know the man is angry or to a certain point. As women we know how to push a man's buttons. Trust me I know what buttons to push with John. I know what to say and not say to him. I know him, so I know what is going to set him off. When we argue (yes Pastors argue too lol). When we argue I don't say certain things. I had to learn him and have made mistakes but once I learned something will set him off I don't say it. I am quick to apologize and break the silence barrier after an argument. I let my guard down with him and risk being the "weaker" person but it pays off. As women I think we have the ability to keep down a lot of arguments in our homes just by being willing to be softer with our men. We can't make them feel like we don't need them and they aren't anything. I am sorry a man has to feel like a man, and he wants to feel like a man from HIS woman. I think God created us like that. So I said all this to say...... I believe if we as women were willing to take the low road (which is really the high road) we could have much more peace in our relationships.

Now if you are reading this thinking I am whipped lol, that's fine, think that all day; but let me give you some insight into my life. I have been married 12 years. I am married to a man who will buy me anything I want, he doesn't make me work and even when I work my money is my money. He doesn't require me to pay any bills in this house. He has never called me out my name, and we don't get physical even in heated arguments. He has never hit me and I have never hit him. We never have silent treatments that last for more than an hour or two, and we are at peace with one another more than we argue. So If you can't say the same is true for your marriage then MAYBE, just MAYBE, I know a little about what I am talking about. :-). Trust me I am writing this with love because I want to see married couples having more days of peace with one another and this is a small habit that we can develope as women that would make a huge difference. So ladies I hope you still love me. :-) If you don't when you try this and notice a difference you will love me a lot more ;-).

Hello everyone. I hope that as you are reading this you are having a good day or good evening. My prayer is that you are experiencing peace. The subject on my heart right now is marriage. Probably because my husband and I are Pastors and we deal with this issue a lot in our day to day life. We counsel and offer support and a listening ear to so many couples.  I always find myself really hoping that the couples work out their differences and reach a place of happiness in their lives together.

John and I have been married for 12 years and trust me it has not been and isn't always a bed of roses. Overall though, we have a really good marriage. Trust me in marriage you are going to make some mistakes. That's why I think the most important trait you can adapt in a marriage is a forgiving heart. Especially as women. We have to learn how to forgive and be peace makers.

I am definitely the peace maker in my house. I am married to a man's man. He is very stubborn and set in his ways. I am so thankful for his relationship with Christ because prior to him giving his heart to Jesus he was 10 x's worse. I mean we were married a whole year and he never apologized and when I say never  I mean NEVER. We would argue and he would just go on and I would always be the one going to him saying I am sorry in an effort to make peace. He would accept my apology and we would move on. In my mind though I would be thinking " now this joker owes me an apology too, I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING", but he never would. I will say he has changed and he apologizes more quickly now, but that has been a process. Even through that I don't remember ever having a guard up or a thick shell with him. I have always been the softer one. I notice a lot of the women today are so hard. They are hard in the relationship and have this independent mindset. They have this independent,  excuse my language, "n*gga I don't need you attitude", which they carry that into their marriages. I have always been one to believe that it is okay to be the softer or what today's woman might call the "weaker" person in the relationship. In my experience the marriages that last the longest and have the most peace are the ones where the women allow their husbands to be the MAN.

The bible says blessed are the peace makers for they shall be called children of God. As women I think it is an honor to be a peace maker, soft with your mate. A man doesn't want to feel like he is married to another man, someone who will cuss him like a dude, fight him like a dude, be as tough as a dude. We can diffuse a situation by humbling ourselves and being soft. Especially when we know the man is angry or to a certain point. As women we know how to push a man's buttons. Trust me I know what buttons to push with John. I know what to say and not say to him. I know him, so I know what is going to set him off. When we argue (yes Pastors argue too lol). When we argue I don't say certain things. I had to learn him and have made mistakes but once I learned something will set him off I don't say it. I am quick to apologize and break the silence barrier after an argument. I let my guard down with him and risk being the "weaker" person but it pays off. As women I think we have the ability to keep down a lot of arguments in our homes just by being willing to be softer with our men. We can't make them feel like we don't need them and they aren't anything. I am sorry a man has to feel like a man, and he wants to feel like a man from HIS woman. I think God created us like that. So I said all this to say...... I believe if we as women were willing to take the low road (which is really the high road) we could have much more peace in our relationships.

Now if you are reading this thinking I am whipped lol, that's fine, think that all day; but let me give you some insight into my life. I have been married 12 years. I am married to a man who will buy me anything I want, he doesn't make me work and even when I work my money is my money. He doesn't require me to pay any bills in this house. He has never called me out my name, and we don't get physical even in heated arguments. He has never hit me and I have never hit him. We never have silent treatments that last for more than an hour or two, and we are at peace with one another more than we argue. So If you can't say the same is true for your marriage then MAYBE, just MAYBE, I know a little about what I am talking about. :-). Trust me I am writing this with love because I want to see married couples having more days of peace with one another and this is a small habit that we can develope as women that would make a huge difference. So ladies I hope you still love me. :-) If you don't when you try this and notice a difference you will love me a lot more ;-).