Are ALL women catty?

Yes ladies I am going there..... because as women we have this stereotype that follows us that we are all catty. I hear far to often when talking to women about friendships and their lack thereof what I call the famous line of women..."I don't have female friends because women are catty or women keep up to much mess" The thought that always comes to my mind is....aren't YOU a woman so does that mean you are catty and keep up mess? It's funny how we are classic for pointing the finger at others but unwilling to see the part that WE play in why women have such difficult times getting along. I believe the problem is that as women we are emotional and to often lead by what we feel. When led by feelings the focus is always on SELF.

One of the things I have learned when issues come up between me and another woman is....try and see the situation through her eyes. Forgiveness flows where there is understanding. This may sound simple but it makes a huge difference. This small gesture is a natural buffer against you and OFFENSE. It defuses situations naturally. A lot of the things that women argue over are easily fixable if we would try and see the situation through her eyes. Seeing it through her eyes detaches you from how you feel, gets the focus off of you, and allows you to see the full picture. As women we are very in touch with our feelings and how things make us feel, and many times our feelings will become our reality. They AREN'T reality but they are OUR reality. What we have to remember is emotions aren't fact they are just feelings trying to get you to move in a certain direction . Just because it FEELS real doesn't necessarily make it so. Pausing to see the situation through the other person's eyes helps you weed through the emotions of the situation and get to the root of what's really going on; taking account of both people's perspectives.


MANY of the catty arguments and fall outs we have with women on our job, in our churches, and other areas of our lives are small and EASILY fixable. The reason men don't argue and bicker like women is because they don't internalize everything emotionally. Only thinking about yourself in a situation and how YOU feel is why women have such a hard time getting along. We are to touchy and easily offended. That's why we have so many little issues that become mountains. I say this all the time, a "NENE" type personality works on TV but in real life, all that drama is toxic.

Smooches Lovely People :-),
Foreverforgiven1

Yes ladies I am going there..... because as women we have this stereotype that follows us that we are all catty. I hear far to often when talking to women about friendships and their lack thereof what I call the famous line of women..."I don't have female friends because women are catty or women keep up to much mess" The thought that always comes to my mind is....aren't YOU a woman so does that mean you are catty and keep up mess? It's funny how we are classic for pointing the finger at others but unwilling to see the part that WE play in why women have such difficult times getting along. I believe the problem is that as women we are emotional and to often lead by what we feel. When led by feelings the focus is always on SELF.

One of the things I have learned when issues come up between me and another woman is....try and see the situation through her eyes. Forgiveness flows where there is understanding. This may sound simple but it makes a huge difference. This small gesture is a natural buffer against you and OFFENSE. It defuses situations naturally. A lot of the things that women argue over are easily fixable if we would try and see the situation through her eyes. Seeing it through her eyes detaches you from how you feel, gets the focus off of you, and allows you to see the full picture. As women we are very in touch with our feelings and how things make us feel, and many times our feelings will become our reality. They AREN'T reality but they are OUR reality. What we have to remember is emotions aren't fact they are just feelings trying to get you to move in a certain direction . Just because it FEELS real doesn't necessarily make it so. Pausing to see the situation through the other person's eyes helps you weed through the emotions of the situation and get to the root of what's really going on; taking account of both people's perspectives.


MANY of the catty arguments and fall outs we have with women on our job, in our churches, and other areas of our lives are small and EASILY fixable. The reason men don't argue and bicker like women is because they don't internalize everything emotionally. Only thinking about yourself in a situation and how YOU feel is why women have such a hard time getting along. We are to touchy and easily offended. That's why we have so many little issues that become mountains. I say this all the time, a "NENE" type personality works on TV but in real life, all that drama is toxic.

Smooches Lovely People :-),
Foreverforgiven1

When You Assume you make an ....out of You and Me :-)

There is a saying "when you ASSUME you make an .... out of U and ME. It is a play on words but actually very true. When I started this blog I said my purpose was to allow others access into the things God has taught me as I am on the Journey of Life in Christ. One of the things that I have learned that I think would really help women is NOT to assume. I have found in my own personal life that it is best not to assume what a person feels, or why they feel a certain way, or to supply the why behind a person's action. There are 2 things wrong with assuming.

One, when you assume you always assume based on YOUR thoughts and how YOU would act. The problem with this train of thought is everyone is not like you. This is a lesson that I have learned and realized about myself through a dear friend of mine. He helped me to see that everyone doesn't fit in my little box. The world is a big place with all different kinds of people and I can't assume everyone thinks like me or would handle a situation how I would. Here is another BIG lesson I have learned....I also can't JUDGE or get upset with a person because they don't handle something how I think they should.

The second thing wrong with assuming is..... it places a judgement on a person and we aren't God so we only see in part. When we assume we ascribe a MOTIVE to someones actions and we really don't know a person's heart. We can't judge a person based on what WE perceive. They have a whole life outside of us and there are so many other reasons why they could have said what they said or done what they did that actually DON'T involve us.

Listen, here is what I know about the devil. He loves to keep strife and division among the brethren. He loves to see you fighting with your family members, church members, co-workers, people you know. He loves division and disorder, and a person's mind who assumes things is a playground for the enemy. I don't live my life like that. It is to stressful. I can't live wondering where my husband is, assuming he is doing this or that because he walked out the room to have a telephone conversation; or assuming this person was talking about me because of a post on Face Book, or even assuming I know WHY someone posted what they posted. Assuming this group of people doesn't like me because when I walked in the room they stopped talking. Assuming the Pastor is preaching on me because he said something in the message that hit home in my life. People that is exhausting and draining and it makes for a very unhappy life.

So what has God taught me? To go to the source. I am not saying ignore everything because that is not wise but I am saying before you allow your mind to run wild with assumptions just GO to the person and ask. Give people the benefit of the doubt. It is always better to just go to a person and ask. Ladies especially with men. Assuming is a HUGE pet peeve of men. When you treat them like you are the judge and jury without giving them a chance to explain. Trust me on this learning this will keep down so many arguments in your relationship. Give them an opportunity to explain before you jump the gun in your thinking. You will have a lot more peace if you learn this lesson. GIVE PEOPLE THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT.

Isn't that an attribute of love anyway?   LOVE ......thinks no evil;  does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;  bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1Cor 13:5-7 (emphasis added)
Love BELIEVES the BEST about people. We shouldn't always assume the worst about people. It's not fair to them. Adapting these priciples won't keep you from ever experienceing strife with people BUT it will keep strife out of YOUR heart and mind. You are only responsible for you and you don't want to live like that.

Smooches lovely people,
Foreverforgiven1
http://www.totalvictoryexperience.com/

There is a saying "when you ASSUME you make an .... out of U and ME. It is a play on words but actually very true. When I started this blog I said my purpose was to allow others access into the things God has taught me as I am on the Journey of Life in Christ. One of the things that I have learned that I think would really help women is NOT to assume. I have found in my own personal life that it is best not to assume what a person feels, or why they feel a certain way, or to supply the why behind a person's action. There are 2 things wrong with assuming.

One, when you assume you always assume based on YOUR thoughts and how YOU would act. The problem with this train of thought is everyone is not like you. This is a lesson that I have learned and realized about myself through a dear friend of mine. He helped me to see that everyone doesn't fit in my little box. The world is a big place with all different kinds of people and I can't assume everyone thinks like me or would handle a situation how I would. Here is another BIG lesson I have learned....I also can't JUDGE or get upset with a person because they don't handle something how I think they should.

The second thing wrong with assuming is..... it places a judgement on a person and we aren't God so we only see in part. When we assume we ascribe a MOTIVE to someones actions and we really don't know a person's heart. We can't judge a person based on what WE perceive. They have a whole life outside of us and there are so many other reasons why they could have said what they said or done what they did that actually DON'T involve us.

Listen, here is what I know about the devil. He loves to keep strife and division among the brethren. He loves to see you fighting with your family members, church members, co-workers, people you know. He loves division and disorder, and a person's mind who assumes things is a playground for the enemy. I don't live my life like that. It is to stressful. I can't live wondering where my husband is, assuming he is doing this or that because he walked out the room to have a telephone conversation; or assuming this person was talking about me because of a post on Face Book, or even assuming I know WHY someone posted what they posted. Assuming this group of people doesn't like me because when I walked in the room they stopped talking. Assuming the Pastor is preaching on me because he said something in the message that hit home in my life. People that is exhausting and draining and it makes for a very unhappy life.

So what has God taught me? To go to the source. I am not saying ignore everything because that is not wise but I am saying before you allow your mind to run wild with assumptions just GO to the person and ask. Give people the benefit of the doubt. It is always better to just go to a person and ask. Ladies especially with men. Assuming is a HUGE pet peeve of men. When you treat them like you are the judge and jury without giving them a chance to explain. Trust me on this learning this will keep down so many arguments in your relationship. Give them an opportunity to explain before you jump the gun in your thinking. You will have a lot more peace if you learn this lesson. GIVE PEOPLE THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT.

Isn't that an attribute of love anyway?   LOVE ......thinks no evil;  does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;  bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1Cor 13:5-7 (emphasis added)
Love BELIEVES the BEST about people. We shouldn't always assume the worst about people. It's not fair to them. Adapting these priciples won't keep you from ever experienceing strife with people BUT it will keep strife out of YOUR heart and mind. You are only responsible for you and you don't want to live like that.

Smooches lovely people,
Foreverforgiven1
http://www.totalvictoryexperience.com/

To Friend or Not To Friend That is the Question!

To Friend or Not to friend.......That is the Question. I have been doing a lot of thinking about friendship and friends. Probably because of where I am on my Journey of Life in Christ. I have experienced some people who I considered to be friends who actually turned out to not really be friends at all. One person I was wasn't surprised by the outcome of the relationship but a few I was really surprised and affected by the outcome. I think friendship and trust go hand in hand. You automatically trust that a friend or TRUE FRIEND has your best interest at heart and so your naturally TRUST your friends.

Anytime you trust someone you risk the possibility of getting hurt because trust requires that you let down your guard. It requires a level of vulnerability. Opening yourself up and being vulnerable is risky because it exposes you to the possibility of hurt. The sad thing about hurt is that once you have been hurt most people build a wall that grows every time they are hurt again. So by the time you look up, you could be living in this prison of hurt, and fear of being hurt that cuts you off from others. I have never wanted that to be me. I still don't want that to be me, even after being deeply hurt by a person I considered to be a true friend, I don't want to shut myself off from people. I want to remain open and unguarded, not build walls especially with those that I consider to be friends. Which is why I don't just call everyone a friend. I have many people that I talk to and many people that I am friendly with, many associates, but to get the title of FRIEND from me is a special thing.

So after this recent turn of events I am left with a choice. What am I going to do? Am I going to build up a wall and close myself off from people. Am I going to become mistrusting of all women and adopt the attitude of so many women. One that says "I don't like women they are to catty"? I am at a cross roads right now because I am TEMPTED to become guarded and not trusting and honestly I DON'T want to be like that. Being like that shuts you off from what I think is one of the greatest joys in life. Companionship...friendship. There are so many pros that come with a friend. Having someone to talk to, having someone who will love you good and bad, flaws and all. Having someone to depend on, to laugh with, hang out with, do the things you enjoy doing in life, like go dancing or see a movie or just chatting. People who will be there with you at every stage in life. To ME that is priceless. So I CHOOSE not to shut my self off from the possibility of that, because I have found that like all things when dealing with people.....people are people and they will make mistakes just as I will make mistakes. You have to be forgiving and forbearing but the PLUS of that to me far outweighs the risk.

This not only applies in friendships, but also in marriages and relationships, and family....all of the above. So I choose to remain open. :-) And in the meantime I am so appreciative of my BEST friend.....JESUS and my husband because he is a great friend. We have been through so much TOGETHER and he loves me anyway :-).

Enjoy your day and CHOOSE to stay open. :-)

foreverforgiven1
http://www.totalvictoryexperience.org/

To Friend or Not to friend.......That is the Question. I have been doing a lot of thinking about friendship and friends. Probably because of where I am on my Journey of Life in Christ. I have experienced some people who I considered to be friends who actually turned out to not really be friends at all. One person I was wasn't surprised by the outcome of the relationship but a few I was really surprised and affected by the outcome. I think friendship and trust go hand in hand. You automatically trust that a friend or TRUE FRIEND has your best interest at heart and so your naturally TRUST your friends.

Anytime you trust someone you risk the possibility of getting hurt because trust requires that you let down your guard. It requires a level of vulnerability. Opening yourself up and being vulnerable is risky because it exposes you to the possibility of hurt. The sad thing about hurt is that once you have been hurt most people build a wall that grows every time they are hurt again. So by the time you look up, you could be living in this prison of hurt, and fear of being hurt that cuts you off from others. I have never wanted that to be me. I still don't want that to be me, even after being deeply hurt by a person I considered to be a true friend, I don't want to shut myself off from people. I want to remain open and unguarded, not build walls especially with those that I consider to be friends. Which is why I don't just call everyone a friend. I have many people that I talk to and many people that I am friendly with, many associates, but to get the title of FRIEND from me is a special thing.

So after this recent turn of events I am left with a choice. What am I going to do? Am I going to build up a wall and close myself off from people. Am I going to become mistrusting of all women and adopt the attitude of so many women. One that says "I don't like women they are to catty"? I am at a cross roads right now because I am TEMPTED to become guarded and not trusting and honestly I DON'T want to be like that. Being like that shuts you off from what I think is one of the greatest joys in life. Companionship...friendship. There are so many pros that come with a friend. Having someone to talk to, having someone who will love you good and bad, flaws and all. Having someone to depend on, to laugh with, hang out with, do the things you enjoy doing in life, like go dancing or see a movie or just chatting. People who will be there with you at every stage in life. To ME that is priceless. So I CHOOSE not to shut my self off from the possibility of that, because I have found that like all things when dealing with people.....people are people and they will make mistakes just as I will make mistakes. You have to be forgiving and forbearing but the PLUS of that to me far outweighs the risk.

This not only applies in friendships, but also in marriages and relationships, and family....all of the above. So I choose to remain open. :-) And in the meantime I am so appreciative of my BEST friend.....JESUS and my husband because he is a great friend. We have been through so much TOGETHER and he loves me anyway :-).

Enjoy your day and CHOOSE to stay open. :-)

foreverforgiven1
http://www.totalvictoryexperience.org/

The Secret to a Happy Life

HEY everyone. So it has been a while since my last post. A lot has gone on between now and the last blog, BUT as I like to say I AM GOOD, ALL is well.  We are experiencing some tough times as a nation. There are a lot of people out of work and those who are working most of them feel like they never have enough to do what they need to do nor what they would like to do. My husband and I are not immune to the state of the world right now. You know I think that some people think that because I don't complain and don't walk around talking about my problems all the time that I don't have any. That is far from the truth. My husband and I we have issues that arise in our lives. We have things that come up in our finances, in the church with members, in our marriage, with our loved ones. We have problems, it's just I have LEARNED to be content. I have learned to be appreciative for what I have and the good that God is doing in my life. That is a simple truth but such a LIFE CHANGING one.

 I was thinking today about grace, and honestly grace hasn't changed my financial picture. We still have times where we are short and don't have enough, where we don't know how something is going to get paid. That used to happen prior to me knowing about grace. So I can't say grace changed that......but what I can say is grace changed ME. I am different now when I experience times like that. I am not saying that I don't have times where I feel over whelmed BUT they don't last long. I have learned how to not worry and keep living and enjoying life in spite of my challenges. That makes such a difference in my life. We can't do anything about situations by worrying. It doesn't help or change anything. All it does is make us sick and look older :-). Stress brings on all kinds of sickness and truthfully we have a lot that we can stress over. Everybody has some problem or issue that can cause them to worry and live in fear. We all have problems, we all have cares. Life is hard sometimes and it will zap and drain all your joy if you let it. It has a way of knocking you down BUT through it all GOD IS ALWAYS THERE.....and it is so important that you realize that. He is ALWAYS doing something in your life. If you examine your life you have plenty to be thankful for.

That is what contentment is........ being grateful and satisfied with what you have. Taking the time to ENJOY what you have. So many of us let what we don't have stop us from enjoying what we DO have....and that is a miserable way to live.   Focusing on the bad in everything will cause you to be depressed and angry all the time........ AND it doesn't change ANYTHING.  God will still keep you but you will be one miserable kept person. That is no way to live. That isn't living at all. It is better to allow God to keep you and you enjoy the ride along the way.  The secret to a happy life is taking the time to be CONTENT.....satisfied and grateful for what you have. Paul had to learn this meaning it doesn't come naturally but as you get in the habit of doing it, it will become second nature and you will look up and find that your days of fear and worry have been replaced by days of peace and joy. ILUVMESUMU!!!!!!! Be blessed :-)
Eboni
http://www.thetotalvictoryexperience.com/

HEY everyone. So it has been a while since my last post. A lot has gone on between now and the last blog, BUT as I like to say I AM GOOD, ALL is well.  We are experiencing some tough times as a nation. There are a lot of people out of work and those who are working most of them feel like they never have enough to do what they need to do nor what they would like to do. My husband and I are not immune to the state of the world right now. You know I think that some people think that because I don't complain and don't walk around talking about my problems all the time that I don't have any. That is far from the truth. My husband and I we have issues that arise in our lives. We have things that come up in our finances, in the church with members, in our marriage, with our loved ones. We have problems, it's just I have LEARNED to be content. I have learned to be appreciative for what I have and the good that God is doing in my life. That is a simple truth but such a LIFE CHANGING one.

 I was thinking today about grace, and honestly grace hasn't changed my financial picture. We still have times where we are short and don't have enough, where we don't know how something is going to get paid. That used to happen prior to me knowing about grace. So I can't say grace changed that......but what I can say is grace changed ME. I am different now when I experience times like that. I am not saying that I don't have times where I feel over whelmed BUT they don't last long. I have learned how to not worry and keep living and enjoying life in spite of my challenges. That makes such a difference in my life. We can't do anything about situations by worrying. It doesn't help or change anything. All it does is make us sick and look older :-). Stress brings on all kinds of sickness and truthfully we have a lot that we can stress over. Everybody has some problem or issue that can cause them to worry and live in fear. We all have problems, we all have cares. Life is hard sometimes and it will zap and drain all your joy if you let it. It has a way of knocking you down BUT through it all GOD IS ALWAYS THERE.....and it is so important that you realize that. He is ALWAYS doing something in your life. If you examine your life you have plenty to be thankful for.

That is what contentment is........ being grateful and satisfied with what you have. Taking the time to ENJOY what you have. So many of us let what we don't have stop us from enjoying what we DO have....and that is a miserable way to live.   Focusing on the bad in everything will cause you to be depressed and angry all the time........ AND it doesn't change ANYTHING.  God will still keep you but you will be one miserable kept person. That is no way to live. That isn't living at all. It is better to allow God to keep you and you enjoy the ride along the way.  The secret to a happy life is taking the time to be CONTENT.....satisfied and grateful for what you have. Paul had to learn this meaning it doesn't come naturally but as you get in the habit of doing it, it will become second nature and you will look up and find that your days of fear and worry have been replaced by days of peace and joy. ILUVMESUMU!!!!!!! Be blessed :-)
Eboni
http://www.thetotalvictoryexperience.com/

I am Seriously a Daydreamer.

OK so I have been daydreaming again and a lot lately. I am a serious daydreamer. I envision my future and things that I want to take place in my future. I have sooooo many words and prophecies that God has spoken to me about my life and my family. Things that have yet to come to pass in full. Parts of them have begun but they haven't fully happened yet. So I do something that I call "see with my heart". Often times when I look at my life through the eyes of the word or through the eyes of what God has spoken those things haven't fully happened yet. Well, in order to hang on to those words especially in hard times I spend a lot of time "seeing with my heart". Mostly it is early in the morning when I wake up before I get out of bed. I will lay in bed and travel to my future in my mind. Let me give you an example. One of the things that I know that my husband and I will experience is debt freedom. I KNOW we will be wealthy and debt free. How do I know? God told me.

There was a time when I was behind on my car. Not the car I have now but the one I had prior to this car. Things were slow at the church and we wouldn't get paid a lot. My husband would forgo his salary so we could pay the obligations at the church. As a result our personal obligations often went lacking. My particular car company was AWFUL. They were mean, rude and down right demonic if you ask me. lol They would say the most awful things. But anyway, I thought I deserved that treatment. I thought I deserved them talking to me like that because I was late. I hadn't paid my bill and I did sign the contract. One day I was praying and the Lord gave me a revelation. He said to me "Eboni you do deserve that. You are late and haven't paid your bill BUT I ransomed you from that. I gave my life for your bad decisions and poor financial choices." I gave my life to free you even from debt (scriptural ref. 2 Cor. 8:9 and Matt: 20:28). Well right now we are not debt free but that day I received that word I literally RECEIVED that word. I began to see myself as debt free. Our financial picture has gotten better every year but we aren't totally out of debt. Thank God I don't have that car. I traded it in and got a better car at a better interest rate and totally better deal and we have not been late at all. So we are progressing as I said.

At the time though when I received the word we were behind on most of our bills. So I would close my eyes and  imagine myself debt free. I would imagine us paying our bills on time and having enough to do the things we needed to do. I would day dream and see the church filled and just see all of the things that God had promised me in my mind. I used my imagination to SEE myself living in the promises of God. I would  DAYDREAM :-).

Well I am daydreaming AGAIN Honey and If I were to take the time and give you all a glimpse into me and my husband's future it is a powerful thing. Like I said God has spoken some awesome things to me. Daydreaming allows me to see with my heart as opposed to looking at my natural circumstances. When I do that it keeps me in faith. I have been stirred up so much lately. Maybe one day I will share with the world what I see but I don't feel lead to do that just yet. I will encourage you though to try it. Try "seeing with your heart". Seeing yourself in a successful career, or happy marriage, debt free, your children home. Try seeing yourself HAPPY, enjoying life. Try imagining you succeeding on your job. If you are jobless try seeing yourself waking up getting dressed and going to work. See yourself in your business suit with your brief case on the elevator. If you are in school see yourself graduating or getting the paper back with a big fat red A+. Take some time to see with your heart.

God gives us imaginations to propel our faith. He told Abraham to look at the stars and the sands of the sea and imagine himself as the father of many. I paraphrased but you get the point. Dream again. Don't give up on your dreams or the words God has given you. Until you see them actually happening in the natural SEE them with your heart on the canvas of your imagination. I promise you it is a powerful thing.

I am going to borrow this saying from Taraji P. Henson ILUVMESUMU ( I love me some you ;-)!!!! Until Next time,
Foreverforgiven1

OK so I have been daydreaming again and a lot lately. I am a serious daydreamer. I envision my future and things that I want to take place in my future. I have sooooo many words and prophecies that God has spoken to me about my life and my family. Things that have yet to come to pass in full. Parts of them have begun but they haven't fully happened yet. So I do something that I call "see with my heart". Often times when I look at my life through the eyes of the word or through the eyes of what God has spoken those things haven't fully happened yet. Well, in order to hang on to those words especially in hard times I spend a lot of time "seeing with my heart". Mostly it is early in the morning when I wake up before I get out of bed. I will lay in bed and travel to my future in my mind. Let me give you an example. One of the things that I know that my husband and I will experience is debt freedom. I KNOW we will be wealthy and debt free. How do I know? God told me.

There was a time when I was behind on my car. Not the car I have now but the one I had prior to this car. Things were slow at the church and we wouldn't get paid a lot. My husband would forgo his salary so we could pay the obligations at the church. As a result our personal obligations often went lacking. My particular car company was AWFUL. They were mean, rude and down right demonic if you ask me. lol They would say the most awful things. But anyway, I thought I deserved that treatment. I thought I deserved them talking to me like that because I was late. I hadn't paid my bill and I did sign the contract. One day I was praying and the Lord gave me a revelation. He said to me "Eboni you do deserve that. You are late and haven't paid your bill BUT I ransomed you from that. I gave my life for your bad decisions and poor financial choices." I gave my life to free you even from debt (scriptural ref. 2 Cor. 8:9 and Matt: 20:28). Well right now we are not debt free but that day I received that word I literally RECEIVED that word. I began to see myself as debt free. Our financial picture has gotten better every year but we aren't totally out of debt. Thank God I don't have that car. I traded it in and got a better car at a better interest rate and totally better deal and we have not been late at all. So we are progressing as I said.

At the time though when I received the word we were behind on most of our bills. So I would close my eyes and  imagine myself debt free. I would imagine us paying our bills on time and having enough to do the things we needed to do. I would day dream and see the church filled and just see all of the things that God had promised me in my mind. I used my imagination to SEE myself living in the promises of God. I would  DAYDREAM :-).

Well I am daydreaming AGAIN Honey and If I were to take the time and give you all a glimpse into me and my husband's future it is a powerful thing. Like I said God has spoken some awesome things to me. Daydreaming allows me to see with my heart as opposed to looking at my natural circumstances. When I do that it keeps me in faith. I have been stirred up so much lately. Maybe one day I will share with the world what I see but I don't feel lead to do that just yet. I will encourage you though to try it. Try "seeing with your heart". Seeing yourself in a successful career, or happy marriage, debt free, your children home. Try seeing yourself HAPPY, enjoying life. Try imagining you succeeding on your job. If you are jobless try seeing yourself waking up getting dressed and going to work. See yourself in your business suit with your brief case on the elevator. If you are in school see yourself graduating or getting the paper back with a big fat red A+. Take some time to see with your heart.

God gives us imaginations to propel our faith. He told Abraham to look at the stars and the sands of the sea and imagine himself as the father of many. I paraphrased but you get the point. Dream again. Don't give up on your dreams or the words God has given you. Until you see them actually happening in the natural SEE them with your heart on the canvas of your imagination. I promise you it is a powerful thing.

I am going to borrow this saying from Taraji P. Henson ILUVMESUMU ( I love me some you ;-)!!!! Until Next time,
Foreverforgiven1

Could it be, have I gained weight?

OK so lately I have been noticing my clothes fitting different. They are fitting a little more snug. So I have been asking my husband over the last few months, "Honey, am I bigger? Am I gaining weight," and of course being the great husband that he is his answer is always, "no, you look fine to me, I like your size, you look the same." Now either he really hasn't noticed or he is really smart and knows to answer no even if he has noticed. He may not have noticed but I have, and the scale doesn't lie. So I step on to weigh my self after thinking for a few weeks that I am bigger and sure enough I am. Ten, YES TEN pounds heavier than I was two years ago, and 5 lbs heavier than I was last year. So instead of going down like I wanted when I supposedly started to watch what I ate last year, I have gone up. Now I know some of you may be thinking well it's only 10 lbs but 10 will turn into 15 and 15 will turn into 20 and that is exactly what I don't want.

I have always been conscious about my weight because obesity runs in my family and I want to break the cycle of obesity and health related problems for my daughter. I want her to see an example of someone different and I want to be able to be active with my kids as they get older. Play basketball, ride bikes with them, swim and interact with them so it has always been a goal of mine to stay fit. Also, I want to remain attractive for my husband. He married me a certain way and I think it's unfair to turn into a whole different person because of a large amount of weight gain, so I have always worked out. Now here is my problem......watching what I put in my mouth. I see now after turning 30 that I can't eat whatever I want any longer. I tend to cook fairly healthy its the SNACKING that does me in. I am a chip queen Honey and chocolate lover. So those things combined with eating late at night I think have taken there toll on my waist line. So I am officially turning over a new leaf. I said that I was on a Journey and I would let my blog followers watch God move in my life. Well, I have petitioned him to help me in my weight and with my lack of discipline. And boy does He have a job ahead of him. I have two bad habits that with his help I have to break. SNACKING and snacking late. Like right now I am tempted to go and get a snack at 11:13pm, BUT I won't I am blogging about it instead.

 My plan isn't to go on some extreme diet that I won't be able to maintain long term. I have found that once you return to your regular eating patterns all the weight if not more comes back. Instead my plan is to make better choices. I will not cut out snacks all together nor will I deprive myself, but I will develop better habits. It will take discipline but I am up for the challenge and I will keep you guys posted on my progress. So I invite you to join me. Let's go on this journey together. If you want to be a trail blazer in your family to win the battle over the bulge let's do it together. There is strength in numbers. We can do it. With the help of the Holy Spirit I WILL do it. Will you join me?

OK so lately I have been noticing my clothes fitting different. They are fitting a little more snug. So I have been asking my husband over the last few months, "Honey, am I bigger? Am I gaining weight," and of course being the great husband that he is his answer is always, "no, you look fine to me, I like your size, you look the same." Now either he really hasn't noticed or he is really smart and knows to answer no even if he has noticed. He may not have noticed but I have, and the scale doesn't lie. So I step on to weigh my self after thinking for a few weeks that I am bigger and sure enough I am. Ten, YES TEN pounds heavier than I was two years ago, and 5 lbs heavier than I was last year. So instead of going down like I wanted when I supposedly started to watch what I ate last year, I have gone up. Now I know some of you may be thinking well it's only 10 lbs but 10 will turn into 15 and 15 will turn into 20 and that is exactly what I don't want.

I have always been conscious about my weight because obesity runs in my family and I want to break the cycle of obesity and health related problems for my daughter. I want her to see an example of someone different and I want to be able to be active with my kids as they get older. Play basketball, ride bikes with them, swim and interact with them so it has always been a goal of mine to stay fit. Also, I want to remain attractive for my husband. He married me a certain way and I think it's unfair to turn into a whole different person because of a large amount of weight gain, so I have always worked out. Now here is my problem......watching what I put in my mouth. I see now after turning 30 that I can't eat whatever I want any longer. I tend to cook fairly healthy its the SNACKING that does me in. I am a chip queen Honey and chocolate lover. So those things combined with eating late at night I think have taken there toll on my waist line. So I am officially turning over a new leaf. I said that I was on a Journey and I would let my blog followers watch God move in my life. Well, I have petitioned him to help me in my weight and with my lack of discipline. And boy does He have a job ahead of him. I have two bad habits that with his help I have to break. SNACKING and snacking late. Like right now I am tempted to go and get a snack at 11:13pm, BUT I won't I am blogging about it instead.

 My plan isn't to go on some extreme diet that I won't be able to maintain long term. I have found that once you return to your regular eating patterns all the weight if not more comes back. Instead my plan is to make better choices. I will not cut out snacks all together nor will I deprive myself, but I will develop better habits. It will take discipline but I am up for the challenge and I will keep you guys posted on my progress. So I invite you to join me. Let's go on this journey together. If you want to be a trail blazer in your family to win the battle over the bulge let's do it together. There is strength in numbers. We can do it. With the help of the Holy Spirit I WILL do it. Will you join me?

What Is Really Going On In Our Marriage?

Hello everyone. I hope that as you are reading this you are having a good day or good evening. My prayer is that you are experiencing peace. The subject on my heart right now is marriage. Probably because my husband and I are Pastors and we deal with this issue a lot in our day to day life. We counsel and offer support and a listening ear to so many couples.  I always find myself really hoping that the couples work out their differences and reach a place of happiness in their lives together.

John and I have been married for 12 years and trust me it has not been and isn't always a bed of roses. Overall though, we have a really good marriage. Trust me in marriage you are going to make some mistakes. That's why I think the most important trait you can adapt in a marriage is a forgiving heart. Especially as women. We have to learn how to forgive and be peace makers.

I am definitely the peace maker in my house. I am married to a man's man. He is very stubborn and set in his ways. I am so thankful for his relationship with Christ because prior to him giving his heart to Jesus he was 10 x's worse. I mean we were married a whole year and he never apologized and when I say never  I mean NEVER. We would argue and he would just go on and I would always be the one going to him saying I am sorry in an effort to make peace. He would accept my apology and we would move on. In my mind though I would be thinking " now this joker owes me an apology too, I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING", but he never would. I will say he has changed and he apologizes more quickly now, but that has been a process. Even through that I don't remember ever having a guard up or a thick shell with him. I have always been the softer one. I notice a lot of the women today are so hard. They are hard in the relationship and have this independent mindset. They have this independent,  excuse my language, "n*gga I don't need you attitude", which they carry that into their marriages. I have always been one to believe that it is okay to be the softer or what today's woman might call the "weaker" person in the relationship. In my experience the marriages that last the longest and have the most peace are the ones where the women allow their husbands to be the MAN.

The bible says blessed are the peace makers for they shall be called children of God. As women I think it is an honor to be a peace maker, soft with your mate. A man doesn't want to feel like he is married to another man, someone who will cuss him like a dude, fight him like a dude, be as tough as a dude. We can diffuse a situation by humbling ourselves and being soft. Especially when we know the man is angry or to a certain point. As women we know how to push a man's buttons. Trust me I know what buttons to push with John. I know what to say and not say to him. I know him, so I know what is going to set him off. When we argue (yes Pastors argue too lol). When we argue I don't say certain things. I had to learn him and have made mistakes but once I learned something will set him off I don't say it. I am quick to apologize and break the silence barrier after an argument. I let my guard down with him and risk being the "weaker" person but it pays off. As women I think we have the ability to keep down a lot of arguments in our homes just by being willing to be softer with our men. We can't make them feel like we don't need them and they aren't anything. I am sorry a man has to feel like a man, and he wants to feel like a man from HIS woman. I think God created us like that. So I said all this to say...... I believe if we as women were willing to take the low road (which is really the high road) we could have much more peace in our relationships.

Now if you are reading this thinking I am whipped lol, that's fine, think that all day; but let me give you some insight into my life. I have been married 12 years. I am married to a man who will buy me anything I want, he doesn't make me work and even when I work my money is my money. He doesn't require me to pay any bills in this house. He has never called me out my name, and we don't get physical even in heated arguments. He has never hit me and I have never hit him. We never have silent treatments that last for more than an hour or two, and we are at peace with one another more than we argue. So If you can't say the same is true for your marriage then MAYBE, just MAYBE, I know a little about what I am talking about. :-). Trust me I am writing this with love because I want to see married couples having more days of peace with one another and this is a small habit that we can develope as women that would make a huge difference. So ladies I hope you still love me. :-) If you don't when you try this and notice a difference you will love me a lot more ;-).

Hello everyone. I hope that as you are reading this you are having a good day or good evening. My prayer is that you are experiencing peace. The subject on my heart right now is marriage. Probably because my husband and I are Pastors and we deal with this issue a lot in our day to day life. We counsel and offer support and a listening ear to so many couples.  I always find myself really hoping that the couples work out their differences and reach a place of happiness in their lives together.

John and I have been married for 12 years and trust me it has not been and isn't always a bed of roses. Overall though, we have a really good marriage. Trust me in marriage you are going to make some mistakes. That's why I think the most important trait you can adapt in a marriage is a forgiving heart. Especially as women. We have to learn how to forgive and be peace makers.

I am definitely the peace maker in my house. I am married to a man's man. He is very stubborn and set in his ways. I am so thankful for his relationship with Christ because prior to him giving his heart to Jesus he was 10 x's worse. I mean we were married a whole year and he never apologized and when I say never  I mean NEVER. We would argue and he would just go on and I would always be the one going to him saying I am sorry in an effort to make peace. He would accept my apology and we would move on. In my mind though I would be thinking " now this joker owes me an apology too, I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING", but he never would. I will say he has changed and he apologizes more quickly now, but that has been a process. Even through that I don't remember ever having a guard up or a thick shell with him. I have always been the softer one. I notice a lot of the women today are so hard. They are hard in the relationship and have this independent mindset. They have this independent,  excuse my language, "n*gga I don't need you attitude", which they carry that into their marriages. I have always been one to believe that it is okay to be the softer or what today's woman might call the "weaker" person in the relationship. In my experience the marriages that last the longest and have the most peace are the ones where the women allow their husbands to be the MAN.

The bible says blessed are the peace makers for they shall be called children of God. As women I think it is an honor to be a peace maker, soft with your mate. A man doesn't want to feel like he is married to another man, someone who will cuss him like a dude, fight him like a dude, be as tough as a dude. We can diffuse a situation by humbling ourselves and being soft. Especially when we know the man is angry or to a certain point. As women we know how to push a man's buttons. Trust me I know what buttons to push with John. I know what to say and not say to him. I know him, so I know what is going to set him off. When we argue (yes Pastors argue too lol). When we argue I don't say certain things. I had to learn him and have made mistakes but once I learned something will set him off I don't say it. I am quick to apologize and break the silence barrier after an argument. I let my guard down with him and risk being the "weaker" person but it pays off. As women I think we have the ability to keep down a lot of arguments in our homes just by being willing to be softer with our men. We can't make them feel like we don't need them and they aren't anything. I am sorry a man has to feel like a man, and he wants to feel like a man from HIS woman. I think God created us like that. So I said all this to say...... I believe if we as women were willing to take the low road (which is really the high road) we could have much more peace in our relationships.

Now if you are reading this thinking I am whipped lol, that's fine, think that all day; but let me give you some insight into my life. I have been married 12 years. I am married to a man who will buy me anything I want, he doesn't make me work and even when I work my money is my money. He doesn't require me to pay any bills in this house. He has never called me out my name, and we don't get physical even in heated arguments. He has never hit me and I have never hit him. We never have silent treatments that last for more than an hour or two, and we are at peace with one another more than we argue. So If you can't say the same is true for your marriage then MAYBE, just MAYBE, I know a little about what I am talking about. :-). Trust me I am writing this with love because I want to see married couples having more days of peace with one another and this is a small habit that we can develope as women that would make a huge difference. So ladies I hope you still love me. :-) If you don't when you try this and notice a difference you will love me a lot more ;-).