Ladies You Never Want to Be an Eve

A few years ago I received a pivotal revelation in my marriage. One day I was praying after one of the many disagreements John and I had over a decision he wanted to make in the church and my disagreement with it. I can be very opinionated and vocal in my opinions, and because my husband and I are so different our differences used to cause us to disagree a lot when it came to different approaches to handling things in the ministry. One day after a heated argument I was praying about this and God said to me, "Eboni you have to learn when to shut up. You keep going and going, and you have to learn when to just be quiet and stop talking." He then went on to show me something in scripture that I want to share with women today, especially married women or those who are about to get married.

We all know the story in Genesis 3 of Eve and how she convinced Adam to disobey God by biting the fruit. In reading the story in the past I never took the time to really think about what was going on inside of Eve when she gave him the fruit to eat. She didn't do it to be mean or to maliciously disobey God. The bible says she was deceived. A deceived person doesn't know they are deceived, why, because they are deceived. Eve really believed with everything in her that this is what they needed to do. Her heart told her so, her emotions told her so, she KNEW this is what they should do in order to be wise. I can imagine like me she was passionate about what they should do and persuaded Adam. When I believe something I am very passionate about it and won't let up. I keep talking trying to convince my husband to see my way because I KNOW this is what we need to do, or this is what HE should do. The danger in that is we as women are not called to LEAD our families. Our husbands are, and like it or not women, when we as women lead the family over our husband we are out of order. Does this mean that we have no opinion? No, of course not, but there is a difference in suggesting and voicing your opinion and taking control, directing or convincing your husband to do what YOU think he should do. What is being an Eve? It is when your husband really feels a certain decision needs to be made which you disagree with, and you talk him into going against what he feels in his heart should be done to do what what you feel.

This brings me to an important point for single women. Single ladies, because God's design is that the man is the head of the household it is very important that you make a wise choice in who you marry. Hear me very clearly ladies, when you choose to marry a man you are choosing who you are going to submit to. Just because he is irresponsible and immature that doesn't exclude you from having to respect him or allowing him to lead your family. I know this is tough and it takes revelation from God, but God's order is his order and when implemented correctly it flows beautifully. His order isn't the problem, it's our unwise choices in choosing a respectable mate that you can follow. We choose to marry immature men who aren't ready to be the head of anything let alone a family and then want God to erase his order for the family. It doesn't work that way. The time to decide whether you want to follow a man's leading is BEFORE you get married. If you don't respect him now you won't after marriage. Remember your mate is a product of your intelligent decision. I know it's tough but it's true.

So what do you do if you are married to a man who you don't respect or feel is capable of leading your family?  The answer to that is a conversation that we need to have one on one. It would take to long to go into it here so I encourage you to email me and I will speak with you personally and specific to your situation. My email address is www.johnebon@gmail.com. In the subject line let me know that it is in response to the blog so that I will know it isn't spam.  To everyone else take some time to think about what I said here and if you have any questions feel free to post and we can discuss.

Eboni~~

A few years ago I received a pivotal revelation in my marriage. One day I was praying after one of the many disagreements John and I had over a decision he wanted to make in the church and my disagreement with it. I can be very opinionated and vocal in my opinions, and because my husband and I are so different our differences used to cause us to disagree a lot when it came to different approaches to handling things in the ministry. One day after a heated argument I was praying about this and God said to me, "Eboni you have to learn when to shut up. You keep going and going, and you have to learn when to just be quiet and stop talking." He then went on to show me something in scripture that I want to share with women today, especially married women or those who are about to get married.

We all know the story in Genesis 3 of Eve and how she convinced Adam to disobey God by biting the fruit. In reading the story in the past I never took the time to really think about what was going on inside of Eve when she gave him the fruit to eat. She didn't do it to be mean or to maliciously disobey God. The bible says she was deceived. A deceived person doesn't know they are deceived, why, because they are deceived. Eve really believed with everything in her that this is what they needed to do. Her heart told her so, her emotions told her so, she KNEW this is what they should do in order to be wise. I can imagine like me she was passionate about what they should do and persuaded Adam. When I believe something I am very passionate about it and won't let up. I keep talking trying to convince my husband to see my way because I KNOW this is what we need to do, or this is what HE should do. The danger in that is we as women are not called to LEAD our families. Our husbands are, and like it or not women, when we as women lead the family over our husband we are out of order. Does this mean that we have no opinion? No, of course not, but there is a difference in suggesting and voicing your opinion and taking control, directing or convincing your husband to do what YOU think he should do. What is being an Eve? It is when your husband really feels a certain decision needs to be made which you disagree with, and you talk him into going against what he feels in his heart should be done to do what what you feel.

This brings me to an important point for single women. Single ladies, because God's design is that the man is the head of the household it is very important that you make a wise choice in who you marry. Hear me very clearly ladies, when you choose to marry a man you are choosing who you are going to submit to. Just because he is irresponsible and immature that doesn't exclude you from having to respect him or allowing him to lead your family. I know this is tough and it takes revelation from God, but God's order is his order and when implemented correctly it flows beautifully. His order isn't the problem, it's our unwise choices in choosing a respectable mate that you can follow. We choose to marry immature men who aren't ready to be the head of anything let alone a family and then want God to erase his order for the family. It doesn't work that way. The time to decide whether you want to follow a man's leading is BEFORE you get married. If you don't respect him now you won't after marriage. Remember your mate is a product of your intelligent decision. I know it's tough but it's true.

So what do you do if you are married to a man who you don't respect or feel is capable of leading your family?  The answer to that is a conversation that we need to have one on one. It would take to long to go into it here so I encourage you to email me and I will speak with you personally and specific to your situation. My email address is www.johnebon@gmail.com. In the subject line let me know that it is in response to the blog so that I will know it isn't spam.  To everyone else take some time to think about what I said here and if you have any questions feel free to post and we can discuss.

Eboni~~